WHAT ABOUT LUV? (Music by Howard Marren: Book by Jeffrey Sweet: Lyrics by Susan Birkenhead: Based on the play LUV by Murray Schisgal) Audrey Wood Theatre (Off-Broadway April 15, 1984 (17 perfs) SYNOPSIS Act One The entire show takes place atop a bridge overlooking the New York City skyline. We first meet Harry Berlin, a rather down-and-out fellow, who is putting the finishing touches on his suicide note. As he tries to find a place to tack it up, readying himself to jump, Milt Manville, a rather well-dressed Wall Street broker, enters and notices Harry. It seems as though the two of them know each other from when they were classmates at Polyarts U, fifteen years ago (“Reunion”). Harry climbs down from the railing and listens as Milt recalls those college days at Polyarts, when winning the big football game was much more important to him than academics (“Polyarts U”). Although Milt was the big football star, Harry was “the Dostoyevsky of Polyarts U” – completely immersed in Greek studies and poetry. Nevertheless, time has passed, and neither of the men has seen the other. Milt has married Ellen – a wonderful woman – and is living in the suburbs, playing 18 holes of golf every weekend. Harry, on the other hand, is at the end of the line. Life for Harry is so bad that sometimes, in the middle of the day or night – without warning – his whole body becomes paralyzed, and he can’t move a muscle. Just at that moment, Harry stiffens like a board and topples forward. Fortunately, Milt catches him. Does this happen often? Has Harry seen a doctor, a specialist? Harry is convinced that it is simply because he has lost the will to live. He also loses his sight and hearing. Once more, Harry tries to jump off the bridge, but Milt stops him. He asks Harry to stop and think about just why he has fallen so far, when he had so much. Milt, on the other hand, had nothing and achieved a lot. Harry objects to Milt’s observation and says that his life has actually been just horrible, ever since he was a child. The two compare notes and try to see just who had the rougher childhood and who came the furthest – they both had pretty rotten lives (“Paradise”). Yes, they both had a hard time of it, but Milt is convinced that it’s no reason to give up. All Harry needs to say is “yes” to life and “yes” to love. It appears that Harry has said “yes” to women – 28 times, to be exact – but that wasn’t love. Milt is convinced that if Harry could just find love, then his problems would be over. Love is all around them – it’s everywhere! Just give it a chance (“Carnival Ride”)! Harry ponders it for a moment and just as he is having another spell (losing his sight and hearing), he thinks about love and feels as if his body is like a phoenix, rising from the ashes. Yes, love might just be the answer! It is for Milt, after all – who is more in love today than on the day that he got married; unfortunately, his wife won’t give him a divorce. He shows Harry a picture of his love, Linda – a woman who works with him. Out of desperation, Milt asks Harry to fall in love with his wife, Ellen, so that she’ll want a divorce. Harry thinks that the whole idea is crazy. What’s even crazier is that Milt confesses that the reason he’s come to the bridge is to meet Ellen, so he can throw her into the river. He’s going crazy! It’s either him or her! Milt tries to throw himself off of the bridge, but Harry stops him. Harry promises to meet Ellen, at least. Ellen, a rather attractive woman in a mink coat, enters. Harry hides in the corner while Milt tries to see if he can interest her in Harry. Before Ellen meets anyone, she wants to talk with Milt! It seems as if he didn’t come home until 1:18 AM last night, and she knows that he wasn’t stuck at the office with clients. Out of a wooden case, she pulls a window shade upon which a chart is drawn that shows the sharp decline in their sexual activity over the past five years of marriage. They used to do it twice a day – now, not at all! She doesn’t want a divorce. She wants sex – now (“The Chart”)! Milt brings Harry out to meet Ellen and then exits – taking the chart with him. While looking out at the early night sky, Harry notices the first evening star and tells Ellen to make a wish. She wishes that she were a
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