I Can't Sing
2 Act Musical: Music Steve Brown;
Lyrics Harry Hill &
Steve Brown;
Book Harry Hill. -
Based on the television show, The X Factor
London Palladium - Premiere 26 March 2014 - Closed 10 May, 2014
Synopsis
The tale starts in a suburban house in 1971 with a schoolboy Simon dreaming of how he will make a fortune.
The main story is about X Factor hopeful Chenice, a would-be astrobiologis twho lives in a caravan under a flyover with her terminally ill grandfather in an iron lung, and Max, a ukulele-playing plumber.. She is persuaded by her adoring plumber, to audition for The X Factor. She has never heard of X Factor but it could be her route out of poverty.Their romance blooms as everything around them shimmers with glitz and deception.
We follow the fortunes of Chenice whose grim back-story makes her the envy of her fellow contestants, and Max, her troubadour plumber from Rochdale who yearns to get back to descaling shower-heads. Neither is comfortable in the mould reality TV tries to squash them into.
Chenice and Max becoming finalists and their burgeoning love is jeopardised by Machiavellian, behind-the-scenes manouevring.
Musical numbers
Act I
- If That's Not Entertainment
- It Could Be Me
- Life Is Lovely
- Please Simon
- All Woman
- I Can't Sing!
- Better than That
- The Hugging Song
- Missing You Already
- X Factor Fever
Act II
- Here Come the Judges
- Uncomplicated Love
- Falling in Love with Myself
- Make a Wish... It Happens
- Fabulous
- A Song I Wrote for You
- X-Tasy
- Journey to a Dream
Cast
- Simon
- Chenice
- Max
- Barlow
- Liam O'Deary
- Hunchback
- Gerrard Smalls
- Jordy
- Louis
- Brenda
- Grandpa
- Security Guard
- Undertaker
- Brunhilde
- Vladimir
- Alterboyz
- Young Simons
- Voiceover