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Hollywood Pinafore


or The Lad Who Loved a Salary

A Musical Comedy in 2 Acts. Based on W. S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan's H.M.S. Pinafore. Book and lyrics revised by George S. Kaufman, with deepest apologies to William S. Gilbert. Music by Arthur Sullivan

Alvin Theatre, Broadway - May 31, 1945 - (53 perfs)


Joseph Porter heads Pinafore Pictures amid a swirl of recognisable Hollywood types: Louhedda Hopsons, a gossip columnist a veritable chain gang of imprisoned screen writers and dumb blondes looking to become famous; a devious agent, and Brenda Blossom, a love-struck starlet pining for a lowly writer, yet promised in marriage to the studio head by her father (a director looking to advance his own career).

What's Brenda to do? If she marries the poor, starving screen writer, Ralph, she'll be tossed out of Hollywood and forced to make a living on (gasp!) the stage. It's too much to be endured. Fortunately, everything turns out for the best for everyone when it is discovered that a mix-up in Louhedda's column was responsible for Ralph's fall from grace. In reality, it was Ralph who was meant to head the studio instead of Porter. Upon this classic turnaround, happiness befalls each of the characters in turn - just what you'd expect from a Hollywood picture.


10 men, 10 women

Secretaries, Guard, Actors, Actresses, Assistant Directors, Cameramen, Technicians, etc. Singers and Dancers

Musical Numbers


  1. Simple Movie Folk - Miss Gloria Mundi, Miss Beverly Wilshire, Little Miss Peggy, Girls, Ensemble
  2. Little Butter-Up - Louhedda Hobson
  3. An Agent's Lot Is Not a Happy One - Dick Live-Eye
  4. A Maiden Often Seen - Ralph Rackstraw, Miss Beverly Wilshire, Ensemble
  5. I'm a Big Director at Pinafore - Mike Corcoran, Ensemble
  6. Here on the Lot - Brenda Blossom
  7. Joe Porter's Car is Seen - Male Chorus, Ensemble
  8. I Am the Monarch of the Joint - Joseph W. Porter, Miss Liebe, Ensemble
  9. When I Was a Lad - Joseph W. Porter, Ensemble
  10. A Writer Fills the Lowest Niche - Bob Beckett, Ralph Rackstraw, Guard, Ensemble
  11. Never Mind the Why and Wherefore - Dick Live-Eye, Ensemble
  12. Refrain, Audacious Scribe/Proud Lady, Have Your Way - Ralph Rackstraw, Brenda Blossom, Miss Liebe, Ensemble
  13. Can I Survive This Overbearing? (Finale Act 1) - Dick Live-Eye, Brenda Blossom, Miss Liebe, Ralph Rackstraw, Bob Beckett, Ensemble


  1. Fair Moon - Mike Corcoran
  2. I Am the Monarch of the Joint (reprise) - Joseph W. Porter, Miss Liebe, Ensemble
  3. Ballet Interlude: Success Story - Chief Maid, Other Little Maids, Talent Scout, Her True Love, Two More Boys, Armand, the Movie Hero, Directorm Studio Assistants
  4. Hollywood's a Funny Place Louhedda Hobson, Joseph W. Porter
  5. To Go Upon the Stage - Brenda Blossom
  6. He Is a Movie Man - Joseph W. Porter, Dick Live-Eye, Ensemble
  7. The Merry Maiden and the Jerk - Dick Live-Eye, Joseph W. Porter
  8. Carefully on Tiptoe Stealing (music brazenly taken from Pirates of Penzance)- Brenda Blossom, Ralph Rackstraw, Dick Live-Eye, Mike Corcoran, Ensemble
  9. Pretty Daughter of Mine - Mike Corcoran, Ralph Rackstraw, Miss Liebe, Joseph W. Porter, Dick Live-Eye, Ensemble
  10. Farewell, My Own - Ralph Rackstraw, Brenda Blossom, Miss Liebe, Joseph W. Porter, Louhedda Hobson, Bob Beckett, Ensemble
  11. This Town I Now Must Shake - Louhedda Hobson, Ensemble
  12. Finale Act 2 - Entire Company

Scenes and Settings