THE THING ABOUT MEN A Musical Comedy Affair in 2 Acts. Book and Lyrics by Joe Dipietro; Music by Jimmy Roberts. Based on the screenplay "Men" by Doris Dörrie. Originally produced by the B Street Theatre, Sacramento, California. Promenade Theatre, Off-Broadway - 27 August, 2003. Closed 15 February, 2004 SYNOPSIS Act 1 The Man and Woman introduce Tom Ambrose, a high-powered advertising executive who is having an affair with his creative director, Jessica. Having forgotten that today is his fifteenth wedding anniversary, Tom hurries home to surprise his wife, Lucy, and discovers a lovebite on her neck. Trapped, Lucy confesses that she has taken a lover. A stunned Tom walks out into the night and, after speaking with a taxi driver, vows to confront this interloper. As Tom spies on Lucy, the very handsome, long-haired Sebastian glides in on his bicycle and gives Lucy a passionate kiss. Tom follows Sebastian to a seedy downtown bar, where Sebastian posts a "Roommate Wanted" notice. Tom cannot resist. He approaches Sebastian and introduces himself as Milo, a man in need of a room. Sebastian, who is a destitute artist, is suspicious, but when Tom (as Milo) offers to pay the entire rent, Sebastian cannot refuse. Sebastian leads Tom to his sparsely-furnished, bohemian loft, where Tom interrogates Sebastian on every aspect of his life. Sebastian assures his new roommate that he is a contented bohemian, but Tom suspects otherwise. A couple of days later, Sebastian has a rendezvous with Lucy, who is having doubts about their relationship, but Sebastian reassures her. Back in the loft, Tom meets their free-spirited neighbour, Edith, as Sebastian enters with the news that Lucy has lent him her husband's Porsche. Tom goes to strike Sebastian, but he puts his back out in the process. Despite Tom's objections, Sebastian gives him a massage, and the two men, for the first time, have an adult conversation about their lives. Meanwhile at the Ambrose home, Lucy unleashes her anger at her husband. Several days later, as Tom and Sebastian work out, they begin to realise that they have much in common. When Sebastian goes to spend the night with Lucy, a despondent Tom seeks out a priest. The next morning, Tom tells Sebastian that he plans on moving out. But Sebastian wishes Tom would stay, since he feels that the two men have begun to bond. Tom agrees to remain, when the doorbell rings. It is Lucy, whom Sebastian has invited over for brunch. As Tom frantically tries to escape, everyone ponders their predicament. Act 2 It is thirty-eight seconds later. As Lucy surveys Sebastian's loft, Sebastian calls for his missing roommate, Milo. Tom, wearing a gorilla mask, enters. Lucy is delighted by this strange, masked man, while Sebastian is nothing but annoyed, and after repeated entreaties to "take off that mask," Sebastian decides that he and Lucy should leave. As they exit, Edith enters, and Tom asks her where he might be able to find a new lover for Sebastian. Edith tells him of this trendy new restaurant, and we are introduced to its Maitre d'. Tom and Sebastian arrive; then Cindy, a model, enters. Tom has set up Cindy and Sebastian on a blind date. Although Sebastian protests, he soon relents, and Tom leaves as Sebastian and Cindy get to know each other. Feeling an intense attraction, Cindy and Sebastian kiss, but Sebastian realises that he only truly cares for
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