ACT II Jerry awakes, wounded and in a wheelchair. He is in a fog enshrouded wilderness, surrounded by nurses and accompanied by Steve. He is made to inspect a bed-pan and then introduced to shadowy incarnations of his former guests, all of whom have suffered unpleasant fates. Baby Jane returns too, with a household tool stuck in her skull. Jerry attempts to justify himself to the dead guests. Baby Jane warns him of impending doom. The Warm-Up Man and two of the security team stage a grand entrance. and reveal themselves as Satan and his servants. Satan extols the virtues of falling from grace. Baby Jane pleads unsuccessfully for Jerry's soul. Satan tells Jerry he wants him to go to Hell to do a special show for him. He shows Jerry the severed head of his manager, and explains that if he refuses to help him he will be sexually assaulted with serrated fencing material. Jerry acquiesces and he and Steve descend to hell. ACT III Baby Jane announces the arrival of Jerry and Steve in Hell, which is a charred and smouldering recreation of their own TV studio, with burned-out chairs and an audience imprisoned in cracks in its walls. Monitors descend and explain that the Jerry Springer Show In Hell might not he suitable for those without a strong grasp of Judeo-Christian mythology. Baby Jane gives Jerry cue cards which introduce Satan who is clearly running the show as something of a kangaroo court. He wants an apology for his expulsion from heaven and forces Jerry to work only within the boundaries of the cue cards he has been given. Jerry is made to introduce the next guest, Jesus, who bears striking similarities to the diaper fetishist Monte!. Jesus and Satan indulge in a battle of wits. Satan's next witnesses are Adam and Eve, who resemble Chucky and Shawntel. They take Jesus to task, with Eve eventually physically attacking him. Jesus' mother Mary, who reminds us of Irene, is called and she leads a general condemnation of Jesus. The frustrated audience and guests eventually turn on Jerry himself who says he will not be able to solve their dispute without a miracle. God, Angel Gabriel, Archangel Michael and a host of lesser angels arrive. God has the statuesque presence of Dwight, whilst Gabriel and Michael are angelic replicas of ' Tremont and Andrea. God asks Jerry for help judging mankind. Jerry accepis his offer to reign alongside him in !leaven and the two opposing sides both fight over Jerry, with the devils eventually restraining him in a gibbet, swinging high over a pit of flame. Jerry pleads for his life with a series of glib homilies, but eventually abandons hope and in doing so makes an honest statement which resounds with his audience. Heaven and Hell put aside their differences and join in a hymn of praise to all life. Everyone disperses and Jerry is lowered to the ground where he meets Steve and Baby Jane, who tells him he must, against his will, now return to Earth. There, Jerry awakes, in his studio, dying in Steve's arms. He makes a final speech and his audience and guests are joined in sorrow. A sumptuous closing number of thirty three tap dancing Springers then makes the show's opaque doctrine of moral relativism more acceptable to West End audiences. Musical Numbers: ACT 1 - EARTH 1. Overtly-ture - Full company except Warms-Up Man and Jerry 2. Audience Very Plainsong - Pull company except Warm-Up Man and Jerry 3. Ladies and Gentlemen - Ensemble and Warm-Up Man 4. Have Yourselves a Good Time - Ensemble and Warm-Up Man 5. Bigger than Oprah Winfrey - Ensemble and Warm-Up Man 6. Foursome Guests - Jerry. Ensemble. Dwight. Peaches. 7. I've Been Seeing Someone Else - Jerry. Ensemble. Dwight, Peaches. Zandra, Valkyrie. Steve
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