I CAN'T SING 2 Act Musical: Music Steve Brown; Lyrics Harry Hill & Steve Brown; Book Harry Hill. - Based on the television show, The X Factor London Palladium - Premiere 26 March 2014 - Closed 10 May, 2014 SYNOPSIS The tale starts in a suburban house in 1971 with a schoolboy Simon dreaming of how he will make a fortune. The main story is about X Factor hopeful Chenice, a would-be astrobiologis twho lives in a caravan under a flyover with her terminally ill grandfather in an iron lung, and Max, a ukulele-playing plumber.. She is persuaded by her adoring plumber, to audition for The X Factor. She has never heard of X Factor but it could be her route out of poverty.Their romance blooms as everything around them shimmers with glitz and deception. We follow the fortunes of Chenice whose grim back-story makes her the envy of her fellow contestants, and Max, her troubadour plumber from Rochdale who yearns to get back to descaling shower-heads. Neither is comfortable in the mould reality TV tries to squash them into. Chenice and Max becoming finalists and their burgeoning love is jeopardised by Machiavellian, behind-thescenes manouevring. MUSICAL NUMBERS Act I 1. Overture - Ensemble 2. If That's Not Entertainment - Young Simon, Ensemble 3. It Could Be Me - Max, Brenda, Vladimir, Alterboyz, Ensemble 4. Life Is Lovely - Chenice, Grandpa, Ensemble 5. Please Simon - Brenda, Vladimir, Alterboyz, Soul Star, Ensemble 6. All Woman - Brenda, Liam, Ensemble 7. I Can't Sing! - Chenice, Max, Barlow 8. Better than That - Hunchback 9. The Hugging Song - Liam 10. Missing You Already - Chenice, Max 11. X Factor Fever - Chenice, Max, Liam, Brenda, Ensemble Act II 12. Here Come the Judges - Brunhilde, Liam, Gerrard Smalls, Simon, Jordy, Louis, Ensemble 13. Uncomplicated Love - Simon, Gerrard Smalls, Max, Ensemble 14. Uncomplicated Love (reprise) - Barlow 15. Falling in Love with Myself - Jordy, Chenice, Ensemble 16. Make a Wish... It Happens - Alterboyz, Ensemble 17. Fabulous - Simon, Ensemble 18. A Song I Wrote for You - Max 19. I Can't Sing! (reprise) - Brenda, Ensemble 20. X-Tasy - Chenice, Ensemble 21. Journey to a Dream - Hunchback, Ensemble 22. You Can Sing! - All CAST Simon Chenice Max Barlow Liam O'Deary Hunchback Gerrard Smalls Jordy Louis Brenda Grandpa Security Guard Undertaker Brunhilde Vladimir Alterboyz Young Simons Voiceover
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