The arrival of Miranda causes Giovanni to doubt the success of their plan. She is young, beautiful and brimming with gioia di vivere. In fact, she has already drawn a retinue of three young swains whom Giovanni shoos away. The place, Giovanni observes, will be crawling with her suitors and their plan will be discovered. He angrily scolds her for her flirtatiousness. She replies with I'm All You've Got, revelling in her frankly sensual nature and sex appeal. She refuses to become a prim, dull young lady. Amadeo makes peace between them, but they remain quietly hostile. In the street next day, Bellardi, the branch manager of the new Uriti, reports his progress to his waspish superior, Moscolito. As soon as Giovanni is out of business they can raise prices again. When Giovanni arrives and confidently states that he has no plans to go out of business, but, on the contrary, is remodelling "from the ground up," he and Bellardi engage in an argument in which Bellardi jeers: "After I've ruined you, I'll give you a job at Uriti—as dishwasher!" The Instant Catacombs progress apace, but not everything goes smoothly. Miranda is restive at having to spend her nights digging, and cousin Carlo announces he has fallen in love with an Uriti prosciutto and salami slicer, Celestina, who, to make matters worse, is Bellardi's niece. Finally, when a light goes on in the middle of the night in Signora Pandolfi's house for the third time that week, Amadeo insists that they must suspend digging. Giovanni, however, conceives of an idea to get the dear old lady out of the house. He persuades the reluctant Amadeo to take her out to a concert, then to supper. Elderly as she is, she will come home dead tired and sleep through all their tunnelling. The following evening, at a nightclub, Amadeo, nearly collapsing from fatigue, is dragging himself through another dance with the frail, bird-like and utterly insatiable Signora Pandolfi. It is nearly dawn and the orchestra is tired, the waiters are tired, the manager is tired and Amadeo is limp. But the wild-eyed lady is still raring to go. He tries to persuade her to call it a night, but she launches into a wild Tango, followed by the Black Bottom and finally The Kangaroo, a species of manic bedlam combining the Twist, the Tarantella and a Conga line into which Signora Pandolfi, like the Pied Piper, lures the entire ensemble. While digging the tunnel a few nights later, one whole wall collapses and reveals to the astonished diggers a magnificent Etruscan tomb over two thousand years old. Suddenly, their skullduggery has turned to skull diggery. An additional rumble is heard and Signora Pandolfi drops in—right through the ceiling. While warning them that it is a crime to withhold antiquities from the Italian Government, she gleefully joins in their plot with Margaret Rutherford-like gusto. "We'll need drills—and dynamite... This job's taking too long. Chop, chop, dig, dig, you'll be at it for weeks! Let's give it a couple of good blasts and get it over with. Amateurs, all of you!" Giovanni and his entourage have come to the Villa Giulia Museum to learn more about their antiquarian discoveries, but it is clear from the way Miranda looks at Giovanni what she digs. When she tells him she has fallen in love. He does not suspect that it is himself that she is in love with. He leaves and she, smouldering with love, tries to restrain her emotions. Back in the tunnel, Giovanni discovers that the tomb they have uncovered is that of none other than the great Etruscan king, Lars Porsena. Giovanni is thrilled, but Amadeo is frightened that they will be found out. When Giovanni idly asks how old Miranda is, Amadeo realises that he is in love, though Giovanni denies it. But later in Giovanni's apartment he sees Miranda help Giovanni into his smoking jacket, get books and pencil and paper, coffee and a cigar for him as he basks in her attention, Amadeo smilingly knowingly: Giovanni has arranged a festa n the piazza with music and dancing in honour of non-exist ent St. Vesuvius. First a strolling troubadour, then Giovanni entertain the crowd with a beautiful ballad. Then the assembled throng breaks into the Twist. Joyful cries and the music drowns out the earthshaking dynamite blasts from the tunnel below. The explosions seem only to be a part of the blast in honour of "St. Vesuvius." ACT II
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